just afew hours ago, i text-ed her asking if i could pick her up tomorrow morning just like i did today. She replied with. ":) aren't you nt tired? why are you doing all this fr me?"
And i replied with "You're a great friend to me so i don't mind at all. :)"
That wasn't my honest response though and i can't let her know that i still keep feelings for her. It does hurt to keep my true feelings hidden but sacrifices has to be made to build a strong friendship with her.
I suppose when Molly reads this...I'd already be in NS or somehow we've walked our separate paths. I also wanna apologize for not telling you my true feelings, Its not that i didn't want to be honest with you. But i'm actually scared. I'm scared that my feelings my threaten our friendship. One that i don't think will be re-mended in time. Its like a rope that's connecting us together. Saying out my true feelings is the same as pouring fuel onto the rope and Rejection is lighting the rope in flames. That's what i picture in my mind. And i'm scared it'll happen should i tell you the truth.
Damn :) There's alot of things i admire about you Molly. And they are the ones that i feel like i can't let you know. Not now. Maybe not ever. However, If it makes you happy so be it.
Honestly, I'm giving myself to you and i don't know if i should do this. I mean, i can't even believe that i'm updating this Blog every night.
But this is the only place where i can truly express my feelings. You'll read this one day and god knows where i might be. I'm just happy to have you around Molly. ;) I want you by my side. I'll be giving you the extra push you'll need to move on and i don't think i'll want anything in return. Screw my feelings, Screw everything. I suppose what matters now is to just see you smile. Aha. I'm pathetic. Who would've though i'd be like this? but on the bright side, I don't think what i'm doing is weird. urgh fuck that x3 who cares.
I don't so nobody should. I suppose that's all for today's update. I'd hope to pick you up in the Morning. GoodNight Molly :) Seeya in da morning.
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