Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Feb 25 (The Black 25th)

Feb 25th
I snapped. I showed her my Anger, Something that I didn’t want to show her. A Side of me I didn’t want her to see. I snapped. I can’t take it, All the problems that occurred to me. I just can’t see Molly as my Pillar of strength. I don’t want it to turn out this way. She made me happy, But that isen’t enough. I..just can’t forget my problems anymore. It wasn’t like this before, Every time I’m with her, Problems didn’t really faze me. But now, They just came and I can’t take it. To show my anger in front of her. I didn’t want her to see it.
She fell sick, I had to do something about it. Seeing her in pain, It hurts when there’s nothing you could do to help. I had to get her some panadols to relieve the pain alittle. But she didn’t want to take them, Saying that she took too much. Still, She suffers. The Pain may not be great, But seeing her in pain is still hurtful. I had to send her home.
But I know that she’s hurt deep inside after all that happened between her and aisah. Their friendship is pulling apart and there’s nothing I can do to help. I guess, there are things that I can’t do anything to help but just watch as it uncovers before me. Its something that I’ll have to accept. I don’t know why I care where others would’nt even take this far as for a friend. Maybe this is too much…Maybe I’m sacrificing too much. No I won’t stand by that. Molly is a great friend which I keep dearly close to my heart. I don’t want to return to who I was back then. I want Molly to change me. I don’t care about my past anymore. I just don’t. Dammit…I’ve to start putting on a mask. I know Molly just wants to help. But its not something I want her to trouble herself with. It’s a path that I’ve to thread alone. Seeing that kid in the library screaming in anger. I sorta understood how he felt. We all would snap at one point.
Maybe my time is soon to come. I just hope my fall isen’t too deep. 

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